Five Minute Friday time again, friends! I’m just going to start with no intro or anything. Here goes:
Today’s word is belong. It’s a bit ironic because I was actually just sitting here questioning whether or not I even wanted to do FMF today because I’m always embarrassed when I go and read everyone else’s posts. They are SOOOO good! And I just don’t feel like I belong.
I’ve actually had a rough week all around. It’s been a rough sleep week for Boynificent, and when the baby isn’t sleeping, I’m not sleeping, and I don’t get cranky as much as I get really discouraged. I feel like I’m blowing the whole parenting thing, like I’m ruining my children because I can’t get them to sleep. And yes, I’m speaking plurally because this is my fourth child and my fourth time through these doldrums. You’d think I’d get it at some point, eh?
I kept hearing myself speaking thoughts this week like, “You are the worst parent ever,” “Why in the world does God keep giving you babies? You are so bad at this!” and the like. And as I sat weeping on the worst night, I heard a whisper that said, “You may be a failure, but I still love you. That doesn’t matter to me.” God is so smart, you know? He didn’t bother to try and convince me that I’m not a failure, that those are just lies. He just spoke to the heart of the matter, to my heart.
“I still love you. No matter what. You belong. You are mine. Failure or not, I love you.”
And that’s exactly what I needed to hear.
Okay, that’s a bit raw and a whole lot more vulnerable than I meant it to be. To post or not to post, that is the question. I suppose I will, but I probably won’t be sharing it widely this week! 🙂
I hope you’re having a good week, and that you’re hearing and believing Truth – that you are loved by God no matter what.